I am the adult. Sometimes I have to remind myself of this.
Back in the day, when I had a room full of teenagers held captive by classroom rules and truancy laws, I would sometimes pause my words of wisdom and think to myself,
"I think they're actually listening to me! Do they know I have no idea what I'm talking about?"
And then I'd wax poetic about tone of voice, or symbolism or how I've always remembered the difference between metaphor and simile by remembering this pneumonic device:
Smile like an as(s).
Because the word simile reminds me of the word smile. And similes use like and as. Not ass. But close enough. And just so you know, I never actually said the word ass. Actually, if I had they probably would have listened to me.
Now I sometimes pause and think to myself,
"I am the parent."
And then I have to do some parent-y job like talk about s-e-x (because no one else is going to do it) or proper table manners, or how to remember the difference between metaphor and simile.
Now as the parent I find myself reading young adult literature in an effort to keep my daughter from reading things like Judy Blume's Forever, which I read in sixth grade. And probably shouldn't have. Because it is nothing like Are You There God, It's Me Margaret. And it's pretty much the opposite of Super Fudge.
Fortunately I love young adult fiction. One of my favorite books ever was Little Women. And Eight Cousins. And my heart warms a little when I spy Anna curled up over Anne of Green Gables. The Book Thief is close to brilliant, and because it was written for a young adult audience, the book is cheaper to buy. Bonus!
I'm always on the lookout for new, well-written young adult books that don't have main characters who are on the prowl or going to camp in an effort to find a guy to sleep with. But I don't always have the time to read them before Anna gets to them. Here are some brief critiques of books I have read. Maybe it will give you insight into whether or not your child is ready for them.
Twilight series: I've read them all. And really, really enjoyed them. That said, I'm 44 years old and can separate fact from fiction. Most of the time. One of the first things I said to Anna was, "Edward Cullen does not, and will never, exist." Because the romantic aspect of these books is incredibly, well, romantic. To have some hot, hot guy think that you are the most desirable person on the planet is a bit heady, to say the least. Obviously geared to girls. Or women.
What I like about this series:
1. There is no sex until the characters are married.
2. Edward is chivalrous and quite chaste.
3. It is swooningly romantic. (Really? "Swooningly" didn't come up in my spell-check? I thought for sure I made that word up!)
4. It's a very imaginative premise that carries you away from the first chapter.
What makes me hesitate:
1. Bella is very forthright in her desire to become a vampire. Which euphemistically means that she pressures Edward for sex. This is not a characteristic I want to promote in my daughter.
2. Some of the sections are quite violent. And a bit scary. And I'm a chicken.
I told Anna that if she wanted to read the last two books, we'd have to have "the talk." She has never expressed any desire to finish the series. Even after we had "the talk."
Graceling:
I'm not a big fantasy fan. I read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but didn't finish the series until a couple of years ago. And that was by listening to them on tape. That being said, I was entranced by this book. It's about an 18-year-old girl who is born with a "grace." Gracelings eventually expose themselves when their eyes develop into two different colors. And a grace can be anything from being able to cook a mean hollandaise to being able to kill people effortlessly. Which happens to be the grace bestowed upon Katsa. I was immediately swept away with the story. Katsa is a strong heroine who also has quite the chip on her shoulder. Again there is sex. Anna read the book before I did (Sam also read it and thoroughly enjoyed it), but after I read it I made sure to talk to her about the sexual relationship in the book: it's between Katsa and a young man whom she trusts implicitly and who would never betray her, but whom she will never marry. We talked about how important trust is in a relationship. And how deciding to have sex is not a decision to take lightly. Truly, any opening into this type of conversation is good. It's also good to know before running out and buying the book for your child.
Have I mentioned that this is mainly a one-sided conversation? And that I think she might be humming a Taylor Swift song in her head as I blather on?
This novel is by the same author as Graceling, Kristin Cashore. You might want to check out her blog since it has fascinating insight into her process as a writer.
Fire is a companion to Graceling. Not a sequel. Not a prequel. A companion. A story that takes place almost at the same time with a character or two in common. It's about Fire, a female monster who is so beautiful that she causes men to want to possess her. There's mention of rape. And men wanting to harm her. What was really valuable was when Sam mentioned that he found it disturbing that Anna may read this. So we decided that he should be the one to talk to her about the treatment of Fire by many of the men in the novel. How it is unacceptable to treat a woman this way. Again, was she humming a Black Eyed Peas song or nodding in agreement? I don't know. It's just our job to keep talking.
Fire also has sex with her best friend. When she is 15. Enough already, people! Why? Why? Why?
I just had to get that out. Thanks.
Anyway, there it is. There's sex in this book, too. So we talked about that, too. And how this act seemed very nonchalant to Fire but not necessarily to her friend. And how it's definitely not an act to take lightly. No matter what you read.
This reading thing is hard work.
But not as hard as this parenting gig.
If you have favorite young-adult novels, feel free to share them here! And next week I'll tackle The Dairy Queen series and perhaps something more appropriate to the male species.
